~Ralph Waldo Emerson
…it was worth it!
so what if I am so far behind in my reading, writing, blogging…
…I needed it!
I have had many, many changes in my life this year. Sad things, happy things, bad things, good things, great things, not so great things. But I am discovering I am really and truly – for the first time in my life – finding out who Sandy is and what she needs and wants in life. Spending so many years making other people happy is a good thing, an honorable thing. But I have found you can slowly dry up and slowly lose your self until you barely exist. Your world becomes solely the worlds of others and before you realize it, your world ceases to exist.
Soooo… (buttons on your underwear ~ sorry, private joke, LOL) I start the new season with one thing that is a must in my world…
laughter!
Thanks Nancy for sending me this…
I actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, “Hi! I’m
Belinda!” This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted
her head to one side and crooned, “All I need you to do is step into
this room right hereee, strip to the waist, thennn slip on this gown.
Everything clearrrr?
I’m thinking, “Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.”
Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the
right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, “Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so
we can get everything?’
Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why
not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me
off?
My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other
boob wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we
heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!
“Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.” Belinda headed
for the door.
“Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?” I
shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy… the door’s wide
open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be rightttt
backkk.”
Before I could shout “NOOOO!” she disappeared. And that’s exactly
how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me,
half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other
part smashed between glass!
After exchanging polite “Hi, how’s it going” type greetings, Bubba
(or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power
was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as
possible “Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.”
“You bet, take care” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d
been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin and
making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh I am sooo
sorry!” The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And
silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps…
~Sandy
