~Saint Augustine
…Garden Ridge department store. Brenda and I decided we needed a trip to the place most men would rather have their privates caught in their zippers before stepping into what they call the ‘store from hell’. As we perused the aisles of household delights, we ended up in their huge section of silk trees. Don’t laugh ~ they don’t shed their leaves, you never have to spend money on fertilizer, and some cost as much as designer shoes.
The trees are lined up like linebackers on a football field and their top heavy branches hang out on both sides of the aisle forming a very narrow path to which you can barely push the basket through. As we made our way into the jungle, the basket caught on one of the bigger trees branches and ~ I kid you not ~ it toppled over onto the tree next to it, causing a domino effect which knocked over six or seven of the trees.
I swear I saw it all in ultra slow motion. I lunged past the basket and tried to grab the nearest one that was falling, while the words “nooooooooooo” escaped my horrified lips in a very undignified, dramatic manner that was probably heard on the freeway. Brenda just stood there and yelled ‘Timmmmberrrrr!”
Gaw! I can’t take that woman anywhere!
now picture this…
…Chili’s restaurant. Dennie and I had a lunch date where we were going to plot her new book. After having consumed two diet cokes and one water with lemon, I made my way to the little girl’s room. Of course, I picked the stall that the lock was acting funny, but, in my hurry, got it locked and went about my way.
Finishing up, I tried to unlock the lock and it would not budge! I pushed to the left and pushed to the right but nada…zip! I stood there a moment thinking. I tried again – nothing. Wouldn’t budge.
I was alone in the restroom. I was not going to yell for help.
I mentally listed my options. The thought of lying on a public restroom floor to scoot UNDER was ruled out as an option quickly. Very quickly! Ewww! The was only one other thing to do. I gingerly stepped one foot on the toliet then the other. Grabbing the top of the stall wall, I managed to pull myself up and over and just as I was hanging on the outside wall of the stall, an employee walked in.
I am sure the looks I got from the waitstaff after that didn’t mean anything. Much.
~Sandy
